I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
