He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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