you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
