so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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