he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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