There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Randomize
