Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
