I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
