It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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