I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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