a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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