everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He felt like a one man threesome
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize