were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize