that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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