I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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