Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
