what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize