His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
