We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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