Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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