we have pet lesbian snakes
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
