he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
