Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
