he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
not ubering you a puppy
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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