erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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