i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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