She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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