As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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