Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize