If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
