and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
