i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
