it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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