Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize