I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
