How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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