guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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