sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
