I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize