you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
