at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
