Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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