how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize