I wanna passion pit in your ass
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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