i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
