after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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