ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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