HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
