Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
