I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize