I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
