He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
