# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
True strength comes from lack of pants
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
