she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
