I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She's the barista slut.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
