I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
