just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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