Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
