when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
