He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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