their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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